20 Signs your male partner is being unfaithful
Discovering your partner is being unfaithful can be a devastating, but for most people knowing is better than not knowing. With the modern world providing advances in technology and more opportunity than ever, how can you know if your loved one is trustworthy?
Asking a Private Investigator to help you is usually the most effective method, this can alleviate doubt, and guide you through the many pitfalls of finding out alone. Infidelity: Is your partner being unfaithful? (2022)
As Private Investigators this is one of the many services we offer and is one of the most frequently asked questions, when people call us for help and advice. Insight Investigations offers a wide range of services on relationship investigations to help people get to the truth. Getting in touch with us will be a definite solution to this problem as we shall provide you with definite proof and advice on steps to take for solution.
Two phones
Although two phones are needed in some work situations, where an employer requests personal and work phones are kept separate, this can often be a real giveaway that a partner is being unfaithful. Especially when a work phone is kept close by at all times or the passcode closely protected.
If your partner is keeping a work phone close by in the evenings, at weekends or even taking it on holiday then this could be cause for concern.
Phone on silent
The thing about modern technology is that it can have a nasty habit of intruding into your life when it’s not wanted. Take for example a text from someone you are having an affair with, not only does it ‘ping’ when the text arrives but it also stays visible on the screen even if you have your phone locked. If your partner often has their phone set to silent this could be a sign they are hiding something and you should stay alert to other behaviours. We have partners in the UK and in Germany offering same services.
Similarly, if your partner has set their notifications to not preview the message and simply show the name of the text or WhatsApp message this can also be a sign they are hiding something they do not wish you to see.
There are also many advances with people using alternative communications methods such as Telegram which can be hidden on a phone, or using a VPN to disguise online activity. Both of these can easily be installed on a mobile. Faking GPS locations is also on the increase if you are trying to hide where you are. Further information on Faking GPS locations is here.
Secretly texting in the middle of the night while your partner sleeps while your phone is on silent. Coincidance?
Different ringtone or text tone
Many of the older generation (and by that, we mean anyone who owned an NEC P3, or Nokia 3210) never change their ringtone. In fact, most people over a certain age either don’t want to or don’t know how to change their ringtone.
Contrast that with younger users who according to one online survey, only 15% leave the factory defaults in place.
Changing ringtones or text tones can mean that you know automatically when a particular person is ringing or texting you which can be a tactic adopted by people who are trying to separate parts of their life.
If your partner has more than one ringtone or text tone, then this could be a sign of infidelity.
Sudden interest in personal grooming
An individuals personal grooming or hygiene habits may change once in a long-term relationship.
Contrast this with having an affair and suddenly people become more fastidious about their personal grooming and will go to great lengths to look good for their new love interest.
More time spent in the bathroom or a sudden interest in grooming products could easily be a sign.
Appears more secretive, particularly with their mobile phone
Whilst technology enables far more ways to have an affair, cheating on your partner does require one thing that technology can’t hide and that is time. It takes time to text or call someone. It takes time to send photos on Snapchat. It takes time to flirt.
If you are in a relationship, finding the time to do this when your partner isn’t looking can be tricky.
If you find that their normal routine is somehow different, especially in the evenings, then this could be a sign they are taking the time to flirt online. Signs, like making unnecessary trips to the shops in the evenings, or even taking their phone to the shower or toilet, can simply be them finding time to contact someone.
More distant, less frequent physical contact
When a partner decides they want to move on, they want to move on. Sometimes this manifests with becoming more aggressive, accusing their partner of infidelity to hide their own indiscretion or generally changing their behaviour to force the party to confront the situation.
In these circumstances, they will want to spend less time with you, will be resentful of having to be around you and won’t show the same degree of affection that they once did.
A diminishing of affection is not, in itself, a sign. After all, when people have been together for years this can be a natural evolution of a relationship. However add it to another suspicious behaviour and there could be reason to suspect infidelity.
Infrequent love making or new bedroom behaviours
If they are finding excuses to avoid intimate contact with you the this could be a sign that things are not right and that they are fulfilling this part of their life elsewhere.
Equally, we have seen in some cases that an increased libido which spills over into the long term relationship, even trying out new “techniques” or “moves”. If your partner suddenly changes their behaviour in the bedroom without it being previously discussed or requested this can be a tell-tale sign that they are being unfaithful.
Nights out with “friends”
Generally, people love to go out; it’s in their DNA to meet and bond with friends. There’s nothing wrong with this unless it becomes more frequent than it once was. More here.
Sudden urges to unexpectedly meet with friends for a “quick pint”, “quick catch-up” or coming home late after stopping out with their friends and in some cases regular excuses of sleeping over at a friend’s house after a night out.
There are legitimate reasons for men to do this and there are times in their lives when a new group or crowd will mean they are out more often. Ultimately if you find yourself sat at home and have no ideas where they are or what they are doing then this could be a sign.
Especially if when they return home, instead of being nice to you to make up for all the time they spent away they turn on you and make out that you are somehow trying to control them, the alarm bells should ring.
Unusual shower times – late at night
People can be creatures of habit. They do the same things at the same times most days. Most men will shower either morning or evening and the same with shaving.
If they suddenly feel the urge to shower more frequently or change the time when they are showering and shaving you might need to ask the reason why.
Sudden interest in loading the washing machine
If your partner has never shown any interest in contributing to doing household washing and then suddenly wants to wash their own clothes this could be considered a sign. People having affairs or cheating on their partner through one-night stands are often incredibly paranoid, and despite best efforts to conceal and traces left behind, they may want to be in control of emptying out pockets and handling their washing. It can also be playing on their mind to ensure that you the long-term partner doesn’t notice any smells or stains on their clothes that shouldn’t be there.
Working later for no apparent reason
One of the oldest and most regularly seen signs that your partner is being unfaithful. Sometimes your partner can in fact be in the office and this isn’t a cover up for going somewhere else with the person they are having an affair with. Sometimes it’s as simple as an extra half hour or hour at work to text or chat to the person they are having an affair with.
Smell
Much underrated, smell is actually a classic tell-tale sign.
Everyone has a smell. Researchers have known this for some time and companies have peddled the magic’ pheromone’ scents for years.
A 2016 report however in Psychology Today, shed some more light on this subject. Their research suggested that women can detect genetic compatibility by smell (but men can’t) and with nostrils that sensitive then they are very likely to notice a change in a man’s smell.
Men smell differently when they have been with a woman who wears a different perfume to you and they definitely smell different when they have engaged in sexual acts with another person.
So, as well as keeping your eyes and ears open, next time keep your nose alert for tell-tale changes in your partner’s smell.
Social Media
Ubiquitous in modern life, most people have some form of a social media profile.
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat; they can all tell a story if you look hard enough.
As a Private Investigator, this is one of the easiest and most obvious things to check. Although it is unlikely that your partner is going to post pictures of their infidelity on social media (although it has happened!) it can give some interesting clues to follow up.
Take a look at their images they are posting, do you know where they are and who they are with? Are there any new faces you haven’t seen before? What about the locations? Do you recognise where they are and who they are with?
Text messages folder is empty.
Who deletes their text messages? Most of the time men can’t be bothered, unless of course, it’s impinging on the phone’s memory in which case a clean out is a priority!
Most men simply don’t delete texts and as such, if you can see their phone then you can see their life played out in full detail. Therefore an empty text message folder could well be a sign they are up to something secretive.
Passwords and logins have changed
If you used to be able to get into your partner’s phone, computer, tablet or other device and suddenly you find you can’t then you might need to start asking why.
And if your partner is spending more time with just one of the devices, more than might be considered usual, then this could be a sign.
They have less money than usual
Often overlooked, a lack of funds can be a signal that something has changed. If your partner is someone who always has money on them or has the ability to take money out of the bank when they want, then suddenly announcing that they have no cash might raise a few questions.
Now it could be (and we did find this in one case) that a husband had been putting money aside for over a year just to pay for a surprise holiday for his wife. Sadly however, this is often not the case.
Quite often at the start of a new relationship, there will be a display of affection and this often manifests itself in the form of gifts. Whilst his new girlfriend may be able to hide a pair of diamond earrings or a necklace from their partner (assuming both parties are in a relationship) hiding the absence of funds in the bank account is a lot harder.
You don’t see any of the bank statements
Leading on from the point above, if you have a joint account and are used to being able to access that account and see the statements, the sudden absence of statements in the house might be a signal.
Banks make it easy these days to switch off paper statements but this can often leave the other partner in the dark.
Details like where and when cash has been withdrawn from cash points can be an indicator, especially if they were not supposed to be there at that time.
Location services are switched off
Most mobile phones these days are equipped with some form of Geo-location device and unless you specify otherwise in settings, often it is enabled by default.
Men, being tech savvy in the main, are very adept at switching this off.
Given that pretty much all the apps these days require it switched on to work properly (think Facebook or any of the map apps as an example) then when it is switched off you need to ask why.
Unfaithful partner will turn off their location services so that they don’t give away where they have been
The browser history is regularly deleted, or private browsing is the default
Internet browsers by default always keep a history of which websites you have visited. 90% of people never consider this and as such, they never delete their browsing history.
An empty browsing history should be a sign for concern.
Similarly, most browsers allow you to surf in private mode so if your partner has spent hours on the computer, but when you check the browsing history it shows nothing, then there is something that is being hidden.
You “feel” that something is not quite right
Often underrated and regularly ignored in the early stages of an affair, the good old fashioned ‘gut feeling’ is usually right.
Trust your gut instincts and if something feels wrong, it probably is.